I shall start with this little truth nugget: I called myself the Antisocial Social worker because a) it is a reflection of me – I am, in truth, both an introvert and a social worker and b) because ‘traumatised young widow’ isn’t clever word play or likely to attract readers.
I am hard to categorise. I say that to make myself feel special. At this moment the following labels apply to me: mum, young widow, single mother, post traumatic stress sufferer, social worker, introvert, daughter, sister, friend, aaannnndddd tipsy.
The important things to know about me are: I love craft beer – my hubby and I shared this love with great commitment, red wine, cheese (moving into dating ad territory here…), sarcasm, honesty, dark humour, books, books with dark humour, dot points, organisation, and most of the time my children.
I hate a man who shall remain unnamed, the fear people have of grief and trauma, dishonesty, lack of insight, people who cannot laugh at their own stupidity, brussel sprouts, really sweet wine, black and white pudding.
I was present when my husband was killed by a stranger as we walked home from a rare night away from our kids. I am not working at the moment as that man, who shall remain unnamed, has decided to try his luck at trial, therefore extending my grief process and exacerbating my trauma to satisfy his tormented conscience. And that is all I will/can say on that. The rest is for the legal system to drag me through.
I now am forced, through no decision of mine or my husband, to parent our two babies under 6 alone. I deal with my father’s life limiting cancer, and support my mother as his carer, while my two siblings retreat into ostrich impersonations. I struggle with other people’s reactions, mostly irritating and/or useless, to my grief and trauma. And I battle my own head and memories I wish I didn’t have.
This blog will be about my life. The complications, the hilarity of humans, my increasing agoraphobia, and hopefully contain some useful information on helping people dealing with grief both from the perspective of a social worker, and as someone living with complicated grief.
Let’s get this show on the road.